I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
