Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
