she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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