can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
