Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize