whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
