YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
i think my cat just said my name.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
