I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
