Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
