But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wish you could order shots online.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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