just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
