It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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