Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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