Apparently you make a good broom.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
