I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
