People in love make me want to vomit
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
