Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
