No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Hippo gnu deer
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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