If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i will never coherently bang her
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
