You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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