I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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