True but thats because hes a fetus.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
