he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
