just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
