Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just high enough for therapy.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
