I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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