so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
