Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
