it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
