If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
