I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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