Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I think my fart just growled at me.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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