Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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