Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
