why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
