His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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