so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
