The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize