When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
