So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
