I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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