i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
