come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
