i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
