There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
