OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
