I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
And then my night got REAL pukey
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
