he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
