Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
the liver wants what the liver wants
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
