All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
