2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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