your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
