Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize