It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
