I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
