It's Friday. Sex?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Congratulations! We have a period
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
