His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
