You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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