Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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