I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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