whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
