I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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